Comedy home secrety Secretary Theresa May has defended her decision to let her cat assess whether UK hacker Gary McKinnon really has Asperger's Syndrome.
May appointed Mr Tiddles to provide crucial medical evidence, despite never gaining any medical degree, nor having any particular interest in mental illness before.
The Home Office has ordered that McKinnon undergo a further medical examination to see if there is any risk he might kill himself if he is stuck in a US jail.
May is reported to be "personally concerned" that McKinnon has not been examined by a Home Office-appointed medical assessor. Indeed, she is so concerned that she has personally appointed someone with no experience in looking at Asperger's.
Tiddles is well known at the Home Office for his break-through methods in kitty litter distribution. He is understood to be qualified in getting under the feet of junior ministers.
He is known as May's Mr Oddjob because he is always leaving odd jobs around the place.
When cornered by TechEye, Mr Tiddles said "mew" and ran underneath the sofa.
We made some of that up. What is scary is that it is 90 percent true. The untrue bit was appointing her cat.
In fact May has appointed Professor Thomas Fahy, who has as much experience with Asperger's syndrome as Mr Tiddles.
McKinnon's mother, Janis Sharp, said he had "no choice" but to refuse because the expert the Home Office had named to carry out the examination.
McKinnon had three medical examinations in April by three leading experts in Asperger's and suicidal risk. Professor Simon Baron Cohen, Professor Jeremy Turk and Dr Jan Vermeulen all concluded that he was at extreme risk of suicide if extradited, and that he is unfit for trial. But that is not enough for May, she wants someone who knows nothing running the show.
To be fair this is Tory policy. After all, you have a Chancellor of the Exchequer who knows nothing about the economy, and you can get away with it, why not appoint someone who knows nothing about Asperger's and suicide to do a report on someone with Asperger's and how very well may kill themselves?
We understand Mr Tiddles hopes for a cabinet position in the next reshuffle. The cabinet is where there are the juiciest rats.
Anyway, the Guardian reports that the crucial decision on whether to export McKinnon, complete with cuffs, will not be made until October. The reason for this is because the Olympics are, to May, more of a priority.
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But somebody must pay a cheque to these people, especially as the determinations to be made are not as to criminality, but to assure what proper safeguards are needed for this defendant. It is certain that he does have AS.
Aspergers Syndrome may produce a combination of lack of empathy and obsessive compulsions (read: UFOs Nutter), which obliterate discretion and cognitive, volitional,
conscientious choice; such symptoms must be interpreted as a mitagating factor to both the criminal charges and the facility of incarceration; especially in McKinnon's case involving here the defendant's exposure to an unexperienced life situations with the relatively impersonal new technological medium of the internet.
In my opinion, it is cut and dry: if the extradition is not applied which specifies both a diminished charge and diminished penalty in lieu of this defendant's diminished capacity and motive and intent; then such extradition may be denied until appropriate extradition applications are re-fashioned. And the whole responsibility of said situation would not rest entirely in the Secrety's lap, but a ball served back into the U.S. curts.
Mandamus the whole bloody government if necessary.
For certainly, there's more than one way to skin a cat.