The BOOKE of the ANONYMOUS MEN
1. AND IT CAME TO PASS as the seasons closed, that a tribe of Hackers called Anonymous did gird their loins to smite all who stood against King Julian of Assange.2. While Assange was waiting on the LORD in a British jail, the Anonymous tribe did hope to free him with many bloody attacks.3. They did smite Amazon and Mastercard for betraying King Julian, the Swedish government for asking him to be thrown into jail. They also did smite the Swiss bank which decided to collect King Julian's shekels not. 4. So great was the smiting that people came forth unto these Kingdom's websites and found them become waste; their servers were burned with fire; their online real estate was overturned before your eyes, made waste and overcome by Anonymous men from strange lands.5. And LO there was much fear spoken in the press about the Anonymous tribe even unto the Daily Mail. For it was thought “who can standeth against these attackers?”6. But then the Anonymous men believed that all who stood against them should be cast down and they cared not if they were friends or foe.7. “Are we not fighting for free speech? Let us make sure that no-one else speaketh against free speech,” they said.8. And they smote Twitter after there were accusations that it censored Wikileaks to prevent it from trending.9. And the social networking site Facebook did stand against the Anonymous men for they said that it was a violation against its “terms of service”. And so too was it smote.10. But then the world did get weary of all this smiting. Websites dedicated to the Anonymous men started to be removed and people saw them not.11. The Anonymous Men did cry out and were confounded. “We are being pickethed upon by the CIA just like King Julian.”12. But the world did careth not for it was weary of smiting and just wanted King Julian to faceth the music in court and getteth it over with.13. However King Julian wanted not to be tried. For in prison was he not a martyr to free speech? Did not the The Anonymous Men fight for him, even unto the death? Whereas if he went unto the Swedish Court, he would just be another Aussie sex pest who likely not the rubber of protection.
"And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do."
"The Apologia of The Slaints";
He writes:
The berth of St Julian of Assange was on this wise when at about the same time as he would be given up to the Swedes, he was thrown into the pit by the English.
And St Julian in his 'kerchief, and cell mate Louie in his lap,
had just settled down
for a long Blighty nap,
When out on the net
there arose such a clatter,
St Julian sprang from the bed
to see what was the matter.
Anon 'Tore open his trousers
and threw up his stash,
To moon all below
with the breath of his
new-fallen show,
He whistled, and shouted,
and called them by name:
"Now, Der Spiegel!
now, Guardian!
now, Times and Le Monde!
On, El Pais!
on Stupid!
on, Yonder and schitzen!
To the top of page one!
to the top of thee maul!
Now dash away!
dash away!
stash away all!"
He filled all the postings
and then turned like a jerk,
I heard him exclaim,
ere he waz off-hauled as a berk,
"If any bad thing
should happen to me,
Death to Amerka
like a kamikaze!"
For it is written:
For nothing is secret,
that shall not be made manifest;
neither [any thing] hid,
that shall not be known
and come abroad.
Behold St Assange
at the door and knock
at the lock.
No man knoweth
the day nor the hour,
save this passedover Sod
begging a key from the plod
or perhaps a shower from Rod.
In clods of his gory
his Thermo-nuclear file to mock
may bring us this Chrimbo
one hell of a shock.