Buy a nuclear bunker on eBay -

It gets cold in Winter, and where better to snuggle up and keep warm than your very own cold war era nuclear bunker, smack bang in the middle of the English countryside?

And for the measly price of just over 25,000 squid, it could be yours, but you’d better hurry up and put in a bid on eBay before someone else wins it. 

Bidding on the 15ft under bunker ends March 7th, and at moment of writing, it had already generated 46 bids. 

And who wouldn’t be tempted? What with its own power supply, a chemical toilet, its position in “a stunning location with glorious views,” a “ventilation shaft with two louvered vents,” and much more besides.

The seller reckons the bunker – which was used by the Royal Observer Corps back in the 50’s – measures 50ft x 50ft in total, and was actually still fully operational until 1991.

Since then it has apparently been used to generate cash for the owners of the private land it lies on, mainly as an adventure holiday camp.

Included in the sale, according to the seller’s listing, are a “desk, chair, siren box, enamel bucket, BPI mounting board, copper earthing straps along the top two walls (unique to master posts), jerry cans, rope for hauling heavy items up the shaft, sump grill and sump pump, cupboard with some domestic items.” 

If you want the phone and teletalk though, then that’s a separate negotiation altogether. 

Of course, it’s not the only bunker in Britain, nor is it the biggest or deepest. York boasts a semi-subterranean bunker complete with its own kitchen, canteen, dormitories, radio/landline communication equipment and specialist 1980s computers, big enough to hold “50 to 100” people according to Wikipedia, the source of all knowledge. 

According to a secret TechEye sauce with close links to the British civil service, certain select personnel in Britain were ordered to prepare themselves to leave their homes and families and go to the York bunker in the event of a nuclear missile attack on the UK during the Cuban missile crisis.

“My dad had instructions to ready himself to go there and abandon his wife and his three sons,” our source told us. “He said: ‘I'm not going to do that. If you perish, I'm going to perish with you’."

Our source also says his father had instructions that after the nuclear storm, the surviving not-so-civil personnel would be issued with guns to shoot any human still alive. Lest they turn into nuclear Zombies in a creepy real life Left 4 Dead scenario, we presume.

But that’s pretty much all academic, seeing as they'd all have died down in the bunker anyway as well. Despite the 'colourpsychology décor'.