Jobs proclaims the iPad II is the saviour of the universe -

Updates to this story

A gaggle of carefully selected fanbois is packing the halls for Apple’s launch of the iPad this evening.

We are not invited – neither will be the INQster nor the Rogister – after all you don’t want hacks asking awkward questions, do you? Lawyers and fashion designers are invited – you get the picture.

We once got invited to one at the INQster by mistake – we met the Apple guy at the end of the gig. He said: “You shouldn’t be here!”  Oh well. I was at an Apple gig in 1990 or so when Douglas Adams endorsed one of its products and got slipped quite a big DRAM upgrade by the PR. Apple products have always been quite expensive. Steve at the Palladium launching the NeXT box was very haughty at the time. He said then it was a better Apple than an Apple.

Steve Jobs is making an appearance for the launch of the iPad II – we dunno if Jonny Ive is there....

Jobs started off by describing Android tablets as the year of the copycats – a bold prediction, for sure.  The iPad II is the third of Apple’s attempts to crush the PC opposition. It won’t be Jobs’ first attempt. The British event is being held at the BBC TV Centre, a cluster of fanbois – but the poor hacks that work there do, we think use Dell. Apple loves the BBC but not as much as Apple loves News International.

The iPad II uses the A5 chip as predicted – it’s a dual processor ARM based chip – it will come with cameras and it’s a third thinner than the iPad I – it will comfortably fit in your pocket if you have a big pocket.  Reliable sources tell TechEye that Apple is very stingy on discounts – for example buying 26,000 iPad Is will only get you a 10 percent discount. And employees of Apple have to pay almost the full price too – and can’t even buy it if there’s too much demand.

The 16GB version will cost $499 – that’s $500 folks – this is Draper’s Disease – and you’ll be able to buy one in Blighty at the end of March. So don’t go buying any old iPads, u fule. This one is lighter and you can get it in white, if you want white.

Jobs. He’s got one. But if I was him, I'd be getting a lot of rest and lounging on a beach somewhere rather than banging on about a bloody gadget.

Data Monitor analysts reckon that Google Honeycomb will look as good as and have as many apps as Apple’s iPad. But it is pessimistic about how fast Android tablets will catch up with Apple tablets. It is sort of thinking that might happen in 2015, with Google having 10 percent of the market in 2010 – and Apple 90 percent.

It will all be about the BOM (bill o’materials), we think at TechEye. The other vendors can’t price up their offerings to match the non Jonny Ive versions. There will be a price war, whether Apple likes it or likes it not...