The book of Ah-Em-De Chap XIV. The LORD bringeth plagues upon Ah-Em-De 1. Then the LORD said to TechEye, “Go to Ah-Em-De and say to them, ‘This is what the LORD says: thou art been naughty in my sight for though hast consorted with the people of the desert to making thine chips. 2. "If you do not buck thine ideas up I will cast out your Chief Executive into the wilderness or at least cause him to createth his own start-up." 3. And the LORD did cause the board of Ah-Em-De to row with its Chief Executive for not making piles of dosh from mobile chips and did cast him out in the wilderness where he created his own start-up. 4. And the people of Ah-Em-De were wroth for they had not a leader, and troubled times were upon them. But still they refused to buck their ideas up and carried on sinning against common sense. 5. Then the LORD said to TechEye: "Tell unto Ah-Em-De that I shall bring a curse upon them and that there will be an exodus of staff from the company unless it pulleths it finger." 6. But Lo, Ah-Em-De hardened its heart and listened not unto TechEye. And behold, there was a mass exodus of talent from Ah-Em-De . And it was said, of those days, that he who had buried his talent in the ground, did lift it out, clean out his desk and bugger off with it. 7. And Ah-Em-De searched for replacements to these people, but found them not. It tried to encourage those to dig up their talent and let it shine amongst them, but the workers were having it not. 8. But still Ah-Em-De failed to listen and the LORD hardened their hearts so that they would not see the doom that was before them. 9. They said unto TechEye: “Hath we not placed our faith in the chips called Fusion? For shall they not cause our share price to rise and the fatted calve to lay with the badger?” 10. Then the LORD said to TechEye: “Tell the people of Ah-Em-De that they have been found naughty in my sight and I shall curse the Chips called Fusion and there shall be a plague of bugs upon it, and these shall create great delays. 11. “But on that day I will deal differently with the land of In-Tel, where my people live; no swarms of bugs will be there, so that you will know that I, the LORD, am in this land." 12. And the LORD did this. Dense swarms of flies poured into the Fusion chips, yea and into the Fabs throughout the desert peoples. And Fusion was delayed by the bugs. The factory of the desert people in the German lands were unable to supply the 32-nanometer “Llano” Fusion APUs and delayed shipments of the 12- to 16-core Opteron 6200 Series “Interlagos” chips. 13. But still the heart of Ah-Em-De was hardened and they would not pulleth the finger. And then they appointed Rory Read from the land of Lenovo to be their King. And they did praise him for his ability to grow revenue and income at Lenovo while keeping control of margin. 14. Then the LORD said to TechEye, “Go to Ah-Em-De and say to them, ‘This is what the LORD says: thou art been naughty in my sight and still not sorted thine-selves out. Therefore I shall curse thee so that your shares shall go down even unto the bowels of the Earth.” 15. But the heart of Ah-Em-De was still holding onto the chips called Fusion and believed TechEye not. And they saith that the shares shall remaineth as strong as an ox which partaketh of the Red Bull. 16. And Lo did the LORD bringeth down the share price of Ah-Em-De so fast that its ears poppeth. And Ah-Em-De did downgrade its outlook. Yea, doom was predicted on the downgraded outlook. 17. Analysts and investors did gather together stones and sharp objects to hurl at Ah-Em-De. Some analysts spake and said that Ah-Em-De still has strengths despite the recent problems, but it still needed to pulleth finger, least the share price falleth further. 18. But the world waited for Ah-Em-De to change its mind. And still it did not.

Ye Booke of Ah-Em-De