1. In the Beginning was the Cloud, and it was before the Data Centre, and it was the Data Centre. And it became known to humanity as the Cloud for this was a sexier name than Data Centre. 2. For it is written that the all things have different names in the Mind of Marketing for it moveth in Mysterious ways. 3. And the Cloud moved amongst the people and yet they saw it not. It was humble storage and there were none that were interested, yea even unto the data centre it was unknown. 4. But after many years in the wilderness the Cloud did start to spake unto the minds of men. It spoke unto IBM and even unto the Children of the Oracle who were after plagued by databases and had no idea what to do with them. 5. King Ballmer of Microsoft did give his heart unto the Cloud for he saw that it was a way of erasing his cock-up over mobile. 6. “Blessed shall be the Cloud unto all ages, for it shall be the saviour of my people. Let it be written, not on tablets of course, that Cloud shall be the Messiah of the Age,” Ballmer proclaimed. 7. Yet in his heart Ballmer kneweth that the Cloud would give the Children of Jobs a reason for their Tablets of Almunium to exist. However it would take much time for the Children of Jobs to build their Cloud, for they had missed the boat on the centre of data. 8. So he reasoned that he buildeth the Cloud and could later create the Tablets of Almunium later on. 9. St Apothrika was wandering in the wilderness of SAP, which was a land where people paid large sums of money for software they did not understand, when he saw a Cloud in the heavens and lo his bush was burned. Great was the pain of his bush. 10. And he took this as a sign that he should lead the people of Ach Pe to the land of the Cloud and he went unto the people of Ach Pe and said “Maketh me thine king, for I will lead thee unto the Cloud.” 11. And the People of Ach Pe said unto him: “Who art thou, whose bush smouldereth?” 12. And St Apothrika said: “I am he who has come to prepare the way for the Messiah of the IT industry. Behold I have seen the cloud descend upon my bush and lead me unto the conclusion that I shall leadeth thee unto Cloud.” 13. And the people asketh: “And this way shall not lead unto inflated expenses claims or dinners with ye stars of porneth, even if they are soft?” 14. And St Apothrika spake and said: “The way of the Cloud, is not a den of iniquity, for is it not written that nothing that exciting may dwell in the Cloud. For the Lord hath cast out anything interesting in storage, and made it duller than Loughborough on a wet Sunday afternoon.” 15. And the people spake and said: “Would that this paradise have tablets, for we have seen that the Children of Jobs have shiny trinkets.” 16. And St Apothrika said: “Behold, I have had a vision. And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our Ach Peh, and the power of Apothrika: for Jobs shall be cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.  17. “And the people of Ach-Peh shall have their tablets of aluminium and they shall overcome Jobs by their faith in the Cloud.  18. “Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabitors of Steve Jobs' Walled Garden of Inequity. For they are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and listeneth to Coldplay maketh a lie. 19. “But those who have faith in the Cloud, shall have peace evermore.”

Ye Booke of Cloude