The CEO and the showgirl -

In his tenure as HP’s CEO, Mark Hurd shot his bolt over two large boobs. Firstly, he had several secret dinners with the hired help and, second, he tried to claim it on expenses.

Actually, there was a third boob, which should have been listed up front, and that was hiring Jodie Fisher in the first place.

Picture the interview. We need a contractor who can stage CEO-level events and help represent this conservative IT company. Call in the first applicant.

In walks an attractive blonde of a certain age but lacking the expressionless, though somehow surprised, face of most ageing residents from Botoxia, LaLa-land. Looks good so far.

Let’s examine the resume. Spent the 90s as an actress and rose to the heights of starring in a couple of minor soft porn films. Then became an estate agent and appeared on a cheap-shot reality show. Eureka, a woman with looks, class and obvious integrity. You’re hired.

One can only wonder what the other candidates had to offer. To be fair, she obviously did the job for Hurd.

A quick glance at her DVD sleeves held ironic hints of the future. Intimate Obsession – an erotic thriller of desire and revenge. Body of Influence 2 – Just try to resist…

It’s a pity Americans don’t seem to understand irony.

NBC’s Age of Love got it right. In the reality show, two groups of women vied for the attention of C-list tennis star Mark Philippoussis, known for giving the fastest service in the business. One group were in their 20s and labelled the Kittens. The others, featuring Ms Fisher, were in their 40s and tagged Cougars. Philippoussis threw Fisher back in the first eviction.

The events of the past week has thrust Jodie Fisher into the arms of battling, feminist legal eagle Gloria Allred. This puts her in an elite group rubbing shoulders with the family of Nicole Brown Simpson (OJ Simpson's murdered wife), Kelly Fisher (a model claiming an engagement to Dodi Al-Fayed until Princess Di came along), Mel "Scary Spice" Brown (who claimed actor Eddie Murphy fathered her daughter), and Brittany Ashland (who accused actor Charlie Sheen of battering her and he pleaded no contest).

If the name’s familiar, Allred’s most recent high profile client was Rachel Uchitel, reportedly the reason for Tiger Wood’s argument with his wife on the night of the car crash. His driving’s never been the same since.

Allred stated that nothing sexual went on between Hurd and Fisher. At which point a chorus probably went up at every geeky frat house in the US, “Awesome, man, all those dinners with a porn actress and he didn’t get to first base. Total wipeout.”