Software giant Microsoft has decided that it is time for a change of image and the marketing people have come up with a new sales motto.
As you might expect, anything coming from marketing is going to lower the standards of the world, trivialise something that is important, and reveal that they know about life as a tea bag knows about Clive of India.
In this case the finest minds, and salaries, in Redmond have come up with the motto “Be What's Next.” The implication is that Microsoft is what is next.
We are not sure about this. After all Microsoft has never been what is next, it is always what is now. We don't expect Microsoft to be the future. We expect the future to be designed by other people. Microsoft waits around, sees what works and then gives us a really good copy of it.
There is nothing wrong with this. It is better than being what is in the past. Windows 7 is good. It works. It does not have many bells and whistles. You love it in the same way that you love milk or bread. It is not something you even think about. No one ever gets cravings for milk or bread but if it is on the turn or stale you don't have breakfast and it ruins your day.
No milk or bread marketer flogs their products with the idea of “being next”. Neither should Microsoft.
A better motto for Microsoft would be “it is boring but it works”, “same old, same old”, or if you are optimistic. “We are happy with who we are, we don't need to be anything special.”
Windows 7 and Office are not something that is “Next”. Next is an expensive high street clothing store or a Duke Nukem release day. It is too aspirational as it never happens. Particularly not in Microsoft's case.
Below we have suggested a few mottos for Microsoft. Let us know yours
- Control, Alt, Delete, simple.
- At least we're not Apple.
- I am a PC, so sod off
- Most of the world runs our software, we don't need to spin
- Instantly on, Instantly forgotten.
- Something a little more sensible.
- As common as muck
- Broken but we fix it (eventually).
- Security is our middle name... it has to be.
How about "Microsoft - as dependable as your Dad's Buick.... And as dull as it too."
Or "Microsoft - All your computers are belong to us!"
That would Be a bloody good idea!
Windows 7ucks uses extortion and makes false accusation to law enforcement. Windows 7ucks has caused domestic violence, child endangerment and regularly assaults the landlady with a deadly weapon. Don't be taken in, for soon Window 7ucks' glassy stare turns into glaring insults and profanity. It has caused me to write bad checks, run up my credit card balances, and it has even chipped my front teeth!
Because Windows 7ucks, I find that I can only have bananas and peaches, or bananas and pears, or peaches and pears; but I can NEVER have bananas, peaches and pears together on the same desktop!
I want my_ I want my_ old XP!
Why everything is a bitch to Windows 7ucks? If you're the Administrator, you bloody well have no life, but worse, if you're the standard user in the Administrators group, there is nothing to live for and all your signs on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings. My spirit is crying for a merciful death and in my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees and the voices of those who stand looking. There's a bustle in my hedgerow and the devil to pay. Yes, there are two paths I can go by, but in the long run there's still time to re-image yet one more time and wipe out days of 7ucking hacking. My HDDs humming and it won't go, in case you don't know, Windows 7ucks its lies on the whispering wind of Never Never Land.
Ballmer's not the boss of me!